Labor and Delivery

M I N D F U L P U R I T Y
Oct 30, 2018
5 min read

As my due date approached I became more and more excited to meet my baby boy; yet at the same time, I was terrified. I had been dreading labor since before I even got pregnant. The idea of pushing a tiny human out of my body sounded horrifically unpleasant, but I knew I always wanted a baby.

At 37 weeks and 6 days, my midwife checked me and I was 70% effaced, less than 1cm dilated, and -3 station. This was great news! I was making progress and I hadn't even hit 38 weeks yet! Prior to the appointment I had lots of cramping, which kept waking me up during the night. Well, my appointment a week later wasn't as encouraging, I was only 1cm dilated with no other changes. Anyways, 40 weeks finally came after the slowest month of my life. I swear, the last month of pregnancy is actually 100 years long. So there I was, 40 weeks pregnant with zero signs of my stubborn baby boy deciding to come anytime soon. So I continued on with my giant belly until the day before I hit 41 weeks. That day, I had my appointment with my midwife who checked me and attempted the wonderful membrane sweep and I say that with much added sarcasm. As unpleasant as the sweep attempt may have been, it must have worked that time because by the time I got settled at home I started having contractions. All I remember is laying on the couch trying to relax, when one of the contractions hit. My husband was upstairs. I tried to move, nope, that wasn't happening. After that passed, I decided it might be time to start timing my contractions. So I laid there on the couch with my contractions app timing out my contractions. They started out 8 minutes apart lasting 45 seconds to a little over a minute. Now let's just keep in mind, the hospital I was delivering at was an hour away. It was around 4pm; so, I called my obstetrician's office to see what they thought I should do. Their advice was to wait another hour and see how I was doing. So I lasted a solid half hour and called the office again. The contractions were 5-8 minutes apart by then, so after talking with the nurse, we decided that I'd head in to the hospital. We grabbed all our bags and of course a few snacks and then we were on our way.

I arrived at the hospital, checked in, and went to the pre-labor room where they were monitoring my contractions. After hanging out in there for a bit, they decided they were going to admit me, so I was sent over to my labor and delivery room. They had me shower with their antiseptic cleanser and change into a hospital gown. Once I was all settled, they started an IV with fluids. Finally, after what seemed like 1000's of milliliters of fluid, they started my antibiotic IV since I was group B strep positive. Which for those of you who don't know, it's nothing exciting, you just have to get antibiotics before baby's born. Eventually they came in and gave me my epidural, which really isn't as bad as everyone thinks. It's a sterile procedure, so no one can be in the room except you, your anesthesiologist, and your nurse. No hubby allowed. So before they dive into the procedure, they explain what they're going to do and tell you that you need to hold very still. Which normally would be no problem, but hello, you're having contractions wincing in pain. So obviously, I ask my nurse what I'm supposed to do if I have a contraction while they're inserting the epidural, and her response is you just have to stay still. Okay, sure, whatever you say crazy nurse. Well, luckily for me they numb the area, insert the epidural, and that's over with. No contractions mid epidural! Success!

By now, it's getting late, so we try to get some rest. My husband of course falls asleep no problem and I'm just lying in the uncomfortable hospital bed half numb. At some point I finally doze off, but then I wake up because after the insane amount of fluid from my IV, I need to pee. Unfortunately, once you have an epidural you can't walk. So, there's two options: a catheter or bedpan. Ah, labor, so glamorous. Being a nurse, I chose the bedpan because I wasn't super excited about having a catheter jammed up my urethra. So there I sat, in the hospital bed on my bedpan when they wiped me, they noticed I had bloody mucous, hooray! The disgusting mucous plug! Anyways, moving on from the potty talk, hours later I felt a warm gush, like fluid just slowly flowing out of me. I called in the nurse and she came to see if my water had broken, but she wasn't sure. As the hours passed, I was more and more uncomfortable. The contractions were closer together and longer. I was shaky and nauseous and it was horrible.

Finally, after the longest night and no sleep, it was time to push. I pushed for an hour, but I think that was partly my own fault. I was afraid to push with all my effort because I was afraid of tearing. While I was pushing with the nurses, they told me the doctor would probably have me reach down and pull the baby up onto my chest. Naturally, I was like, um, no way, that's gross. So finally at one point, my little man's oxygen was dipping and they wanted to get the vacuum. Alright, so I was motivated! You win! I pushed as hard as I could and finally he came out. The doctor told me to reach down and pull him up onto my chest. At this point, I was so exhausted I just wanted it to be over. I didn't feel any pain, I didn't feel "the ring of fire", I didn't even feel myself tear. I did as she said and there was my sweet baby boy, Christian. He was born at 6:27am September 29, 2017 weighing 8lb 0.8oz and 20 inches long. He was perfect. I labored for 12 hours and pushed for 1 hour, and looking back, it actually didn’t seem as long at the time.

Once the epidural wore off I was left with very sore and very swollen lady parts. The joys of childbirth! Cheers to all the mama’s who endure all this pain for their sweet little babies! Over the next several days ibuprofen and “ice diapers”, yep literally pampers filled with ice, were my new best friends. Unfortunately, I tore and required stitches, which actually wasn’t as horrible as I had imagined, but that made it extremely uncomfortable to sit. As a new mommy, you do a lot of sitting. Especially if you’re breastfeeding. After it was all finally over, I told my husband that I wasn’t sure if I could go through with having another baby. At the time, I was traumatized and in pain.

Labor and delivery is definitely quite an experience. Some people call it a wonderful, magical experience; however, I am not one of those lucky people. For me, it was overwhelming and terrifying, like I had expected and I went in prepared for that. In fact, I’m writing this post a year later and I still feel just as terrified about the next labor I’ll have to endure. As much as I hated it, I’d do it again in a heartbeat because it is sooo worth it. At the end the day it comes down to this: you’ve created another life and there’s no better feeling in the world than the second you see and hear your baby.

For all those mama’s out there who are patiently awaiting their big moment, good luck. To the mama’s who already had their little ones, congratulations. Stay strong and be brave mama’s!

Tell me about your labor and delivery experiences or share your concerns! I’d love to hear from everyone!